Cake over Keto: Episode 22 - the Goldilocks Dilemma
There are many social expectations, showing up as ‘proper’ (aka neurotypical) table manners that can ultimately make eating really uncomfortable and stressful. Sit still, keep your elbows off the table, don’t talk whilst food is in your mouth, don’t slurp, hurry up, slow down, take your cap off (which my brother heard at least a million times).
Then we get the ‘healthy eating’ brigade who insist on things like eat your veggies first, carbs are bad for you, euww beige food is sooooo bad for you.
It’s no wonder folk get a complex around meal times.
And if you have sensory processing difficulties, eating food can become impossible.
In this episode, Mel explains why neurodivergent folk can struggle to eat and invites you to chuck out the rulebook that says we need to eat this way not that.
Drawing from Goldilocks and the 3 bears, and Mel sharing her own experiences, this episode will shed some light on why having high and low sensitivity is NOT being overly dramatic, rude or high maintenance. Finding safe experiences with food is trial and error. Sometimes it will be too hot, too intense or just too much. Other times it will be boring, underwhelming and disappointing.
Stay for the pick n mix when Mel will share suggestions on how to adapt and manage your eating experiences so you can find the calm or the stimulation you need, that’s just right. These nuggets are also shared below.
Also worth mentioning, because I forgot to when recording, and because there are no treatment guidelines for supporting Autistic people with sensory processing disorder or eating disorders, [BONKERS RIGHT?!]
The PEACE Pathway is an incredible resource for both practitioners and if you are living with an eating disorder and Autism yourself, or are a carer for someone who does.
GO TO www.peacepathway.org for more
Thanks for tuning in!
Resources
Here are the nuggets from the pick n mix:
OK, if you find yourself overstimulated, overwhelmed and unable to process, my advice is to work on doing (and asking others to support you in this), what helps you feel safer and more grounded, regardless (and this can be tough) what is deemed socially acceptable. I’ve worked hard on chucking out the eating rule book which has meant managing others expectations and encouraging them to respect my needs.
You may find you benefit from finding or creating a quiet space to eat. Wearing headphones or a hat can help. You may prefer to eat alone and it’s OK if you need to take your time.
Alternatively, you might find you need to move about to dissipate any held anxiety and tension. So give yourself permission to get up if you need to or eat whilst standing.
You might need to prepare to eat by first doing something that brings you some calm and than having something soothing to do straight after to help you decompress.
There is nothing wrong with wanting beige or similarly textured foods! If they mean you can eat, eat them. They still provide loads of nutrition, so ignore the folk who say otherwise.
Similarly, if you rely on pre-packaged foods, it’s not cheating, it’s helping yourself to regulate your nervous system. Predictability is necessary and should be respected.
Really cold foods can be more tolerable as their taste is sometimes less intense.
Keep a list of safe or same foods to show to others who may be providing your meals. Your reasons are valid. If you’re worried about not getting the right nutrition, please do get in touch, I can help.
Now if you’re someone who has low sensitivity and needs meal times to be stimulating, here are some suggestions:
Again, this is where standing up and moving about whilst eating can be helpful. SO I’m giving you permission to do that when you need to.
Getting stimulation and distraction from non-food items whilst you eat means watching something, having your phone with you, or listening to music can be really helpful. I know my nan and pops would turn in their grave but hey, if it means not having to experience distressed behaviours, do it!
I love funky bowls and plates; different shaped ones, different colours. I like to eat with tiny spoons, novelty cutlery that I’m sure were designed for kids and chopsticks. It’s the same with glasses and water bottles - anything that helps me go ooh, I want to use that.
And go with your preferences. If you enjoy crunchy, dry foods, beige foods, salty, sweet, spicy or certain flavour combinations, there are no rules written anywhere (OK maybe some dodgy opinions) that say you shouldn’t respond to what your body is asking for.
