My education and qualifications stand for a lot. Sure, the decades of study are important but it's been my personal life experiences that have fed my passion and interest in nutrition, dieting and health......
I controlled food to the extreme in my teens and 20's. I believe it began with an apparently flippant comment about my 'thunder thighs'. When I was 14.......but I remember it to this day, 30 years on. I was a happy-go-lucky kid but the switch went off.
I started Rosemary Connely and Callen Pinckney's callenetics of the 1980's where you did those weird tiny movements to tone your ass and burn Calories. The hip and thigh diet followed, then came Reebok step and pretty much every aerobics video on VHS performed in my lounge. My clothes fluctuated between a size 12-16 and I was never really happy.
My parents split when I was 16 and so began my slippery slope to disordered eating. My body became this machine.........one that I told myself would not tolerate anything fatty or Calorific. I exercised to the extreme.....daily whereby my knees packed in.
Heading off to uni made it easier to hide away. Eating in secret, bingeing, battling with food every day. Counselling helped and I would ride along the roller coaster of getting better and speeding out of control again.
I have used food as a way of controlling elements of my life when other areas were more than hard going. Family problems, crappy relationships, stress; it was 'easier' to think about food than sort out my real issues. I completely lost touch with and hated my body. I didn't trust food and got fed up of it ruining my life.
The good news......I have now learnt how to re-connect with my body.
- I've restored my body confidence massively but still have to work at this - getting on and all that!
- I've made peace with food whereby it no longer rules my life.
- I don't count Calories or weigh myself and look forward to stress-free meals.
- I don't worry about what I can and can't have because I see all food as neutral; neither good or bad.
- I eat based on what i want and need and enjoy it to the max (mostly!)
- I never thought I would eat without guilt, resentment and shame but I did and I do.