Weight loss is NOT a bonus


This is for the people who have lost weight BUT THEY DIDN'T CHOOSE TO! 

The people who got Covid-19 and lost weight because they couldn't smell or taste anything, for weeks!

The people managing chronic conditions who lost weight when they had a flare up and were in pain or couldn't keep anything down.

The people who suddenly became unwell, due to accident or illness and were incapacitated as a result.

The people experiencing emotional hardship who lost weight due to grief, anxiety and depression.

And to the people who feel it's acceptable to comment on said weight loss as a positive.

Why are we congratulated for losing weight. Why is it seen as a bonus or the silver lining?

I know it may feel awkward when someone has been through a difficult time.....there's that need to say something positive to help them feel better but let's have a reality check here.

Why is this person's weight so important to you?

I get you worry about them....but I'd recommend you read this (how to deal with the concerned friend) before any more words come out of your mouth.

Let me explain the impact of your words (whether you intended this or not):

  • I see you for what you weigh, not who you are
  • You are better being thinner.
  • Weight is more important than your health
  • I am ignoring your pain
  • Your lived experience is not valid
  • I think it's OK to project my own weight issues onto you

These are NOT OK.

Never assume that weight loss is desired, that it is a good outcome for someone or that they have benefited from it. You probably have no idea what a person has gone through. 

Yes you may mean well but please be aware that any statement that suggests someone is better, lucky or more deserving because they are in a smaller body, you are fat phobic. You may not know this and this is not an insult, it's a fact.

Let's be here for others, let's listen and be supportive, but what someone weighs and what they eat (or don't eat) is none of your business. 

Yes ask them about how they are feeling. Leave out the word weight. Challenge your assumptions about body size and weight. Read up on HAES (Health At Every Size). 

And please don't be an asshole.

Thank you

Mel x


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